herondalely:

we-hunt-monsters-not-dinkelberg:

Today in school I was walking down the hallway to go to the bathroom and some dude walked out of a classroom and tripped me by accident and I was thinking about Thor 2 so i just like blurted out “HOW DARE YOU ATTACK THE SON OF ODIN” and he just looked at me and looked down at his shirt and it was an Avenegrs shirt and I think i made a friend guys.

I SHIP IT

(via hiddlesaber)

1 week ago  /  36,405 notes  /  Source: we-hunt-monsters-not-dinkelberg

wifelife:

Girls, when you’re feeling sad, just remember:

• a vagina can go back to it’s original size after taking something 20x its size
• a penis will end up looking like an empty potato sack that’s been run over quite a lot if it does

you can do this girl

be as resilient as your vagina

shine bright like a ‘gina

(via hiddlesaber)

1 week ago  /  262,603 notes  /  Source: patbby

hannibalkanibalas:

tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

IT GOT BETTER

(via hiddlesaber)

1 week ago  /  215,140 notes  /  Source: irisowl

somethinglikelydia:

thorki-hiddlesworth:

carlilemysaviour:

but actually what if you were on a plane and an actor sat beside you for like a five hour flight like what does one do in that situation

(via hiddlesaber)

1 week ago  /  204,303 notes  /  Source: youcanblowme

flaming-fagg0t:

singleplaidqueer:

bubonickitten:

riseandwrite:

calibornthisgay:

My Parents Need to Stop Touching My Stuff: The Musical

featuring the hit single “Put that thing back where it came from or so help me”

First Song: Close My Door All The Way

Secret track: “I Made A Long Distance Call To My Mother Just To Find Out Where The Hell She Put My Socks”

Big Group Number: I Know You Have A Favorite (It’s Not Me)

Dramatic song: That’s Not My Name, That’s The Dog’s

(via kaleidoscope-soul)

2 weeks ago  /  177,756 notes  /  Source: flyakamaizyolo